Becoming an RPCV.

Yesterday I received my official Close of Service date from Peace Corps. On November 18th, 2014, I will leave Ha Selomo, a place I've called home for more than two years, travel to the capital for paperwork, medical exams and tearful goodbyes, and then make the simultaneously terrifying and exciting transition from Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) to RETURNED Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV).

I didn't grow up dreaming of Peace Corps service, and I never knew anyone who had joined Peace Corps before I got on a plane and moved to Lesotho, so the term RPCV never really held any power for me... Until now. Now I'm starting to understand what it means. They won't call me a FORMER PCV. There is no such thing. It's a small, prideful difference. Once a PCV, always a PCV. You're never NOT a Peace Corps Volunteer again. Once you've served... Once you've left behind family, friends, and every sense of security you've ever known.... Once you've found home and family in a culture and people not your own... Once you've endured the isolation and loneliness- And then miraculously discovered a way through it using a new lanuage and sheer courage. Once you've trusted other people completely and with total abandon, relied on strangers and lived on the faith that "it all works out." Once you've loved kids, given every day of two years to teaching them, and made them "YOUR kids"... Once you've experienced what a miracle their companionship and innocence can be... Once you've experienced births, deaths, hunger, cold, exhaustion, and joy with people, found joy in new holiday traditions and watched the seasons unravel... Once you've lived through Peace Corps, you're never the same. It's an experience that will never NOT be a part of you.

I understand now that I will always be a Peace Corps Volunteer... I may be "returned" to my family and country, but I can't ever undo the OTHER family and country that made me theirs as well. I found some more resilient, less judgemental, and more humble part of myself here. And some other part of me was newly forged here, and I will always be ausi Limpho now. That's what makes this transition both exciting and terrifying. I know that I can't just walk away from it... Now comes the hardest part of the experience, where I try to find a way to make both of these identities coexist in a new life, wherever that may be.

I'm ready to try.

With Love from Lesotho… Mary E.