"I live not in dreams, but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future."
~Rainer Maria Rilke

I know what I see- There is grace at work, here.


Saturday, March 16, 2013

A Lesson from Lesotho…

For my first several months of living in Ha Selomo, my tiny rondaval was home to myself, a cat, Penny, (my predecessor's cat), and her three kittens (the female of the litter being my cat, Pina). Needless to say, the feline frenzy kept my first few weeks living in village interesting and lively... They ran about eagerly pouncing on toes, flies, and everything else that goes "bump" in the night. As it turns out, Penny was also quite the accomplished mouser! I did my fair share of complaining to PCV friends about her "extracurricular activities," but in all honesty, this is a rather desirable quality in a country cat… And boy, did she relish in it! Hardly a night went by when I didn't awake to a dead rodent on my floor. In fact, her deposits became so frequent, I quickly learned to never step out of bed without looking first! While this sounds horrifying, I rationalized that if it's going to be left at the foot of my bed while I'm sleeping, better dead than alive, right?! :)

So I had become rather adjusted to finding her proud little presents in my house... Or so I thought. You see, the thing about living in Lesotho is that just when you think you've got it under control, Peace Corps will willingly teach you another lesson in humility and the importance of a good sense of humor.

On this particular occasion, one of my PCV friends, Zoe, was visiting my village for the first time. After living at site for just over a month, I was excited to show her around, and we were both incredibly grateful for the chance to debrief, vent, and share the many successes and frustrations of our new lives in rural Lesotho. After a particularly wonderful homemade dinner (that included one precious and hoarded can of chick peas to make hummus), followed by endless hours of conversation, we both remarked that we felt emotionally recharged and ready to face the world again. "I really feel like I've learned a lot about myself over the last few weeks at site," I said. "I feel more resilient now... Confident that I can handle whatever Lesotho throws at me!" "Absolutely!" Zoe echoed positively in agreement, as we rose from the table to clear the dishes. Over the last few hours of talking, darkness had settled over the mountains, and my cozy little rondaval was now only lit by the single candle on the table. "I'll heat some water for dishes," I said as I moved toward the stove.

Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks. "Wait? What is that? Zoe... I think..." Beneath my foot I felt something liquid, then warm, and finally, much to my horror, hairy. It took a full second before I understood. "Oh my god!!! Zoe!!! Get the light!! OH MY GOD! Ewww ewwww ewww eww! ZOOEEEEE!" I screamed. But even before she reached the flashlight, I knew... I had stepped on Penny's latest gift: A dead rat.

The rondaval erupted in chaos as cats and humans alike scrambled to escape... I took two steps in an effort to leave my very foot behind, only to find my other foot in a puddle of something wet and chunky. "OH MY GOD!!! You have GOT to be kidding me!!! Zoe, HELP!!!" By this time, there was no point trying to escape the mortification and overwhelming grossness of the moment. Suddenly the light didn't matter... I knew that one foot was covered in mouse guts, and the other in cat vomit. Lesotho's lesson was complete. There was only one thing left to do: I succumbed to gut-wrenching, tear-stained laughter.

For the next 10 minutes we stood there, laughing and crying so hard we could hardly breath. I was too exhausted, overwhelmed, and disgusted to move. It was as if every emotion I'd held in for the last month came tearing out of me in final surrender to this crazy, beautiful, unpredictable, and priceless reality that was my life now. There was no escaping it, Lesotho had won again. We thought we finally had it under control, but this experience is not about feeling safe, comfortable, or "in-control"... It's about tossing it all to the wind and leaping anyway; confident that the journey is worth the bumps and bruises along the way.

In 20 years, when I look back on my time in Peace Corps, I know that these are the moments I'll remember with laughter... Because my life here is not always perfect, pretty, or postcard worthy. In fact, most days Peace Corps looks nothing like I had imagined. I'm not "saving the world" or doing anything brave or noteworthy... I'm just the girl, in her rondaval, covered in dead rat, wondering how in the world I got here. And in a way, there's something much more priceless and meaningful about that.

With Love from Lesotho- Mary E. <3

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